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Whatever You Do – Always Trust Your Instincts

I made a promise recently that I would do something I wasn’t comfortable with. It wasn’t a big deal, but I knew deep down in my soul I wouldn’t get the result everyone was expecting. Up to the final point where I was to carry out this promise, something in me whispered, “just forget it”.

Being the principled woman I try to be, I reminded myself that I had vowed to give this occasion a chance and so I went for it. Of course, it didn’t go well – to keep things general – and I started beating myself up afterwards for not listening to my gut feeling.

First, the person coaching me was my therapist. She thought it would be a good idea to have a heart-to-heart with an individual where tension was building up between us. Me, in all my wisdom and experience, thought she was wrong and had resisted for sometime. Through her persistence, I finally caved in and thought, oh well, what the hell?

Well, she was wrong and I was right. It turned out that apparently everything was in my head and there was no tension and everything was cool. I felt like a ninny, frankly. The discussion was amicable and polite, but still – it didn’t turn out as planned. Here I am going the extra mile – again, dammit – to put myself out there,  to be vulnerable and all that other corny shit, only to feel as if nothing was wrong.

I’m disappointed in myself. I’ve been in this situation before, where I was made to believe it was all in my imagination, so I shrugged the whole situation off and went on. Personally, I’d have been much more happier had I just listened to that little voice inside me.

Anyway, it was a minor incident. Again, no big deal, right? But I’ve always been one to trust my instincts. Now I feel so — awkward. I went against my personal wishes because I believed the therapist knew better since she was an expert on all things psychological. Turned out I was wrong. I’m still the expert when it comes to my life and I should have known better.

Why is this important? Because many times in life, facts and strategies don’t work, so you have to rely on your gut instincts to guide you. And I screwed up this time. But instead of getting mad, I’m going to turn it into a vital learning lesson – your instincts know what’s good for you, and everything else is just noise.


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